Sunday:
Day 2 in Sydney started with a bit of a hangover. Take a peek
at Saturday’s post for rundown on where it came from. This was my Australian
birthday, since it was still Saturday in the states. To celebrate, we headed
down to the beach for brunch at a spot called porch. Apparently, Will Smith had
Instagrammed his meal that he got here last week. That’s how you know it’s
good.
We did have to wait a good bit for a table, as other people
had apparently seen the Will Smith ‘gram. One group of five sat with just waters
left on our their table for like 15 mins. Rude. When they finally got
up, we were seated. The food was, in a word, Instagrammable. The bloody mary
hit the spot as well. It was lacking a bit of Old Bay, but fortunately I had my
travel supply with me.
After brunch, it was time for our trip to Taronga. The Sydney
zoo is built into a hillside on the northern side of the harbo(u)r. We hopped
on an express bus to circular quay, the main harbo(u)r ferry terminal for the CBD.
We got there just in time to catch the ferry leaving for Taronga. This afforded
us another opportunity for close up views of the famous opera house, and we
used the opportunity to snap many photos. It was a beautiful day on the water,
and we enjoyed our short cruise across the way.
The main goal for Taronga was to see as many types of animals that we don’t have in North America. More specifically, animals that only exist in Australia or one of the islands nearby. Taronga is cool because your visit starts off with a ride up to the top of the zoo in a gondola. You get to see a bird-eye view of the whole zoo before you descend down into it to explore. The gondola ride stopped at one point, which at first reminded me of many ski trips where somebody blows it getting off the lift. But as we hung there, a darker thought washed over me.
"I told you we needed to put locking mechanisms on the vehicle doors!"
This was clearly Jurassic Park happening all over again. We were definitely about to get our asses eaten up by some dinosaurs. Adding to the feeling was the fact that Aussie flora is quite ancient, dominated by the kinds of ferns and early conifers that went extinct tens of millions of years ago elsewhere in the world.
Eventually, our gondola resumed its ascent and we made it to the summit. We reviewed the big map on the wall and made a general plan. We entered the park gates and were greeted by a zoo employee, who gave us some bits of advice on how to best carpe our diem at the zoo. She told us to visit the big animals first, since they get access to their indoor holding areas at 4 and we might have trouble seeing them then. We were advised to save the reptiles for last, since they would always be out.
We walked for a bit down the path, and the first thing we saw was the reptile house. We proceeded in here first, directly against the advice of counsel. The weirdest Aussie reptile is by far the long-necked turtle. Imagine a normal turtle. Then stretch its neck out until its nearly as long as the rest of his body. Yes, with a name like that, this is about what you’d expect. But they still looked really weird, sticking their long-ass necks out and looking around the place.
Besides the turtles, the rest of the reptiles were pretty typical. I did miss my chance at YouTube gold when I cut out the video recording at the critically wrong moment. I was getting some good iguana b-roll for the epic Australia adventure DVD box set when I pressed the shutter to stop recording. Just then, the iguana unleashed a torrent of urine down from the branch he was perched upon, behind the glass but only inches in front of the face of an adorable little backwards-hat clad Aussie boy who had been staring at it, enraptured.
"it's weeing! Mom, mom, look, it's weeing, it just did a wee!"
I clicked the shutter again to start recording, but the moment had passed. I could just picture all the "skip this add in 5 seconds" YouTube revenue that had just slipped through my fingertips. Move aside, "Charlie bit me," there's a new funny accent star in town. Moving on from taking this huge L, I determined to be more vigilant with the video recording. It was a determination that would pay dividends as the day went on.
We saw many interesting Aussie animals that day: wallys, kangas, quock-o's, tazzy's. Those may or may not be the actual nicknames that Australians use for those animals, but I do know that Australians never call anything by its actual name. We saw a pelican that was well over half my height. We saw a land mullet, which apparently is one of the largest skinks in the world. We saw a salty, which is the actual affectionate nickname Australians gave to saltwater crocodiles. Apparently there is a beach in Queensland where they can be seen bodysurfing. People are advised not to go swimming there.
The main goal for Taronga was to see as many types of animals that we don’t have in North America. More specifically, animals that only exist in Australia or one of the islands nearby. Taronga is cool because your visit starts off with a ride up to the top of the zoo in a gondola. You get to see a bird-eye view of the whole zoo before you descend down into it to explore. The gondola ride stopped at one point, which at first reminded me of many ski trips where somebody blows it getting off the lift. But as we hung there, a darker thought washed over me.
"I told you we needed to put locking mechanisms on the vehicle doors!"
This was clearly Jurassic Park happening all over again. We were definitely about to get our asses eaten up by some dinosaurs. Adding to the feeling was the fact that Aussie flora is quite ancient, dominated by the kinds of ferns and early conifers that went extinct tens of millions of years ago elsewhere in the world.
Eventually, our gondola resumed its ascent and we made it to the summit. We reviewed the big map on the wall and made a general plan. We entered the park gates and were greeted by a zoo employee, who gave us some bits of advice on how to best carpe our diem at the zoo. She told us to visit the big animals first, since they get access to their indoor holding areas at 4 and we might have trouble seeing them then. We were advised to save the reptiles for last, since they would always be out.
We walked for a bit down the path, and the first thing we saw was the reptile house. We proceeded in here first, directly against the advice of counsel. The weirdest Aussie reptile is by far the long-necked turtle. Imagine a normal turtle. Then stretch its neck out until its nearly as long as the rest of his body. Yes, with a name like that, this is about what you’d expect. But they still looked really weird, sticking their long-ass necks out and looking around the place.
Besides the turtles, the rest of the reptiles were pretty typical. I did miss my chance at YouTube gold when I cut out the video recording at the critically wrong moment. I was getting some good iguana b-roll for the epic Australia adventure DVD box set when I pressed the shutter to stop recording. Just then, the iguana unleashed a torrent of urine down from the branch he was perched upon, behind the glass but only inches in front of the face of an adorable little backwards-hat clad Aussie boy who had been staring at it, enraptured.
"it's weeing! Mom, mom, look, it's weeing, it just did a wee!"
I clicked the shutter again to start recording, but the moment had passed. I could just picture all the "skip this add in 5 seconds" YouTube revenue that had just slipped through my fingertips. Move aside, "Charlie bit me," there's a new funny accent star in town. Moving on from taking this huge L, I determined to be more vigilant with the video recording. It was a determination that would pay dividends as the day went on.
We saw many interesting Aussie animals that day: wallys, kangas, quock-o's, tazzy's. Those may or may not be the actual nicknames that Australians use for those animals, but I do know that Australians never call anything by its actual name. We saw a pelican that was well over half my height. We saw a land mullet, which apparently is one of the largest skinks in the world. We saw a salty, which is the actual affectionate nickname Australians gave to saltwater crocodiles. Apparently there is a beach in Queensland where they can be seen bodysurfing. People are advised not to go swimming there.
 |
| Wombats |
 |
| Some sort of mouse den |
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| Quokka. Definitely not trying to take a selfie with me |
 |
| Can't have an Aussie zoo without alpacas |
We spotted the giant tortoise in the enclosure, sitting around just generally being a giant tortoise, with all that entails. Then he started high-tailing it, as much as a giant tortoise can high-tail.
"wow, that sucker is moving!" Tyler shouted.
I started the camera rolling. This was the kind of action I had envisioned when I purchased the GoPro. That's when we spotted the impetus for this sudden burst of activity: another giant tortoise, sitting across the way, looking fine as hell, as far as tortoises go. His pace quickened to the tortoise equivalent of a gallop.
[warning: the following passages and videos contain graphic depictions of animal fornication (in case you couldn't discern that from the title of the post). Depending on the mores of your particular workplace, consider the remainder of this post as possibly NSFW]
He approached her from the rear. I'm guessing missionary style is not popular in the giant tortoise community, as rolling back over can prove difficult. Mustering all of his strength, he climbed aboard and stretched his arms and neck over her shell. Loud, guttural moans ensued, all from him. For her part, it looked like she would have appreciated having a magazine to read during the event.
At first I attempted to record this with both my phone and the GoPro, but I was giggling far too hard to keep either steady. I handed the GoPro to Tyler, and told him to look for additional angles. They would go far for the DVD release. He ran around the side, and launched into full crocodile hunter imitation. "during the mating season here in Australia, you can see two turtles going at it in the zoo." the English-speaking crowd gathered around erupted in laughter. The Chinese tourists just looked a bit confused.
When it was all over, she slinked off to a cave as he slowly slid off of her. No doubt she was looking to make a getaway before he got a mind to try again. Our day at the zoo having reached a satisfying conclusion (albeit not as satisfying as Mr. Tortoise's), we decided that we had seen more than enough and headed back to the ferry. On the bus on the way back to Bondi after the ferry, Bella leaned over across the aisle and said to me, "Congrats to your sister!" Uh, what? Bella didn't even know my sister, as far as I knew. Tyler then asked, "Mate, have you been checking your sister's story today?" No, I didn't have internet access all day. Tyler handed over his phone to show me. Apparently my sister had gotten engaged, with all the Instagram posts to prove it. So congrats, Sarah and George! With that, we headed back to the flat and had another sausage sizzle for dinner. A day quite well spent.
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